


we could only burn so long

by Hellokaelyn



Series: Torres Family [5]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-11-02 07:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20671694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: I hate you.Those were the last words he and Lacy said to each other. Hours later, he's getting a phone call from a metro cop telling him they couldn't get a hold of her mom, and his number was the last one in her call log.One story ends, and another is just beginning.





	we could only burn so long

**Author's Note:**

> Well..I teared up a little writing this so I have no idea how any of you reading this will feel. 
> 
> I probably shouldn't have watched a certain The Fosters episode minutes before writing this.

He felt as if there was a large crushing weight on his chest.  
  
Tyler stared at the double doors at the end of the hall, fists clenched tightly and leg shaking slightly.  
  
A hand suddenly landing on his arm made him jump slightly.  
  
"Tyler..it'll be hours before you might be able to see her." Ellie said softly. "Maybe you and I can go home and your dad can-"  
  
"No." Tyler interrupted, voice strained. "I'm staying until I can see her. You and dad can go home."  
  
Ellie looked over at Nick and shook her head. He sighed from his spot a few seats down. Their badges may have gotten them information on her, but that didn't mean flashing their badges would work on getting Tyler in her hospital room when she was put in one.  
  
Nick stood from his seat and walked over, crouching down in front of him. "One of us can stay here with you-"  
  
"I'm fine." Tyler said, a little snap in his tone. "I'll text you to keep you updated, but I'm old enough to not need my parents holding my hand."  
  
"Tyler-"  
  
"I'm fine mom, seriously. Gabe, Cam and Rissa are probably waiting up."  
  
Ellie sighed but stood, pressing a kiss to his head as she did. Nick got up, giving his knee a squeeze.  
  
"Text or call us if you need anything, okay?" Nick told him. Tyler nodded, his gaze going back to the double doors.  
  
Nick wrapped an arm around Ellie as they walked away, both of them taking glances behind them at their son as they did. Ellie sighed and leaned into him.  
  
"We really shouldn't be leaving him."  
  
"I know babe..but us being there will only get him annoyed and angry, which is two of the last things he needs to be right now." Nick told her, pulling her closer to him when they walked out of the hospital.  
  
"He's a lot like you." Ellie said with a huff making him chuckle before they got in the car and the mood shifted back to serious in seconds. "Did you notice?" Ellie said lowly.  
  
"How Tyler was the only one there for her?" Nick nodded. "Yeah..I did."  
  
"It makes me realize..Tyler has been dating Lacy for almost 3 years..and we know nothing about her."  
  
Nick sighed but couldn't deny Ellie's words.  
  
It was only the start of them realizing how much they had missed out on.  
  


* * *

  
  
Words swirled through his head. Three words at the forefront.  
  
_I hate you._  
  
Those were the last words he and Lacy said to each other. Hours later, he's getting a phone call from a metro cop telling him they couldn't get a hold of her mom, and his number was the last one in her call log.  
  
After their argument where Lacy had stormed off, she had been crossing the street when a car came speeding down the road and hit her.  
  
It didn't look good.  
  
There was a tightness in his chest that made it hard to breathe.  
  
An argument that had started when Lacy had confronted him about Alyssa staying in the shed, she had wanted to know what was going on and followed them after school. It only escalated from there as they flung insults at each other, resulting in them both saying the words.  
  
Tyler had meant them too. He does hate her, still does as he sits there. Along the line they had both changed each other, and not in a good way.  
  
But deep down if he was being for once completely and utterly honest with himself, she was still _Lacy_, the girl who once made his heart race by just holding his hand. She was just hidden under layers and layers of this fake Lacy she had transformed into.  
  
There was still love mixed with the hate, but not enough.  
  


* * *

  
  
_"Hey um..it's Tyler, right?"_  
  
_Tyler looked up from the notebook he was writing in, looking up at the girl he saw in a lot of his classes. "Yeah, that's me."_  
  
_She smiled and gestured towards the chair across from him. "Can I? Everywhere else is full." _  
  
_He looked around the library to see she was right, it seemed everyone was taking advantage of the rare free period to actually work for once. He nodded, giving her a friendly smile of his own. Tyler studied her as she sat and got settled with her own school work. _  
  
_Lacy, that was her name. _  
  
_She was pretty..really pretty. Tyler felt his hands sweat a little at the thought of her actually talking to him and wiped his hands on his pants discreetly. _  
  
_God he was almost fifteen, he needed to get a hold of himself. _  
  
_"Do you need help?" Lacy's voice made him jump a little, he looked at her a little panicked only relaxing when he saw her pointing at his work with her pencil. _  
  
_"Oh uh no, just zoned out."_  
  
_"You sure?" She smiled and his stomach made a swooping sensation. "I'm pretty good at math."_  
  
_Tyler opened his mouth to say he was fine, but instead other words came out. "Thanks, I guess I was struggling a little."_  
  
_Lacy nodded and to his surprise moved to sit in the seat next to him, her leg bumping against his own. "Let's see what you have then!"_  
  
_It was a good thing he already knew what he was doing, as for the rest of the time he was either distracted by watching her or talking with her. _  
  


* * *

  
  
_Tyler watched her from his own locker a few down from hers, nerves settling in his stomach._  
  
_"Dude, just go and do it!" Lance laughed from beside him. "If she says no, which I know she won't, I'll give you fifty dollars and we can go be chicks and drown your feelings in ice cream."_  
  
_He huffed and punched Lance's arm. "Shut up, I'm going!" _  
  
_Tyler took a breath and walked over to her just as she shut her locker._  
  
_"Lacy!"_  
  
_She turned and grinned at him. "Hey Tyler! Heading home?"_  
  
_"Uh not yet..listen, I was wondering-" He cleared his throat. "If you wanna go see a movie with me this weekend?"_  
  
_Lacy's eyes widened a little. "As in..as in a date?"_  
  
_"Yeah." Tyler's smile turned teasing. "What never been asked on a date before?"_  
  
_Her cheeks colored a little. "No. I haven't."_  
  
_His mouth formed into an 'O', he knew other guys were interested in her, had heard them talking about asking her out. He suddenly grinned. "Well then?"_  
  
_"Yes." Lacy grinned back. "I'd love to. On one condition-"_  
  
_"What's that?" He chuckled. Lacy stepped closer, their bodies almost touching making his heart speed up. All he had to do was lean down a little and-_  
  
_"You have to buy me sour patch kids at the movies."_  
  
_Tyler gaped at her as she pulled away with a giggle. "I- of course!"_  
  
_Lacy giggled again and took hold of his hand, pulling him down the hall towards the doors leading outside. Tyler took advantage of it and yanked her towards him, her body against his. _  
  
_"That wasn't fair." He mumbled, her cheeks pink as she looked up at him. _  
  
_"And this is?" Her voice a little breathy from shock at his actions._  
  
_Tyler refused to think about it anymore as he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. Lacy made a small noise that sounded like a squeak of surprise before returning the kiss. _

* * *

  
  
  
_A laugh tumbled out of her mouth making him look at her sharply. _  
  
_"Are you..laughing?! Lacy what the fu-"_  
  
_"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" She forced out through giggles, burying her face in the pillow. _  
  
_"'Cause that's not a blow to my ego or anything." Tyler grumbled, moving to get out of the bed. _  
  
_"No wait wait!" Lacy said, still laughing as she grabbed onto his arm pulling him back down. "I'm not laughing at you I swear!"_  
  
_"Well what am I supposed to think Lacy?" He grumbled out again. "We just had sex and you're laughing!"_  
  
_"It's just- we had sex!"_  
  
_"...Yes, I know." He gave her an odd look. "I was kind of there for it ya know-"_  
  
_She shoved him. "Don't be a jerk." Lacy giggled again. "..Was it just me or was it kind of well, weird?"_  
  
_Tyler raised an eyebrow but laughed. "Kind of yeah..but uh- we can do it again right?"_  
  
_A snort escaped her making him shove her this time. "Duh! Now that we both got our first time out of the way, it'll be less awkward!"_  
  
_"Great-" Tyler grinned and rolled over so he was hovering over her. Lacy laughed, her cheeks flushed and hair a tangled mess against the pillows. "Your mom won't be home for a few more hours."_  
  
_Lacy rolled her eyes playfully. "Ever the horny sixteen year old."_  
  
_"Emphasis on the sixteen year old part." He teased. "And like you aren't?"_  
  
_Her cheeks flushed more as she shoved his shoulder but Tyler only laughed and kissed her. _

* * *

  
  
When he was finally able to see her early the next morning after only sleeping for a few minutes in the hospital chair, and a phone call to his parents, he dropped down in the chair beside her bed with a heavy feeling. That crushing tightness in his chest only growing.  
  
He had no idea what all the wires hooked up to her were for, but she looked nothing like Lacy in that hospital bed.  
  
Tyler swallowed the lump rising in his throat as he grabbed her hand gently, threading his fingers through her limp ones. Her doctor had told him she was lucky, but she wasn't out of the woods yet. Tyler's eyes went to her abdomen and felt his heart sink.  
  
Lacy might make it through this, but in what condition mentally..he had no idea.  
  
"I'm sorry.." Tyler whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry..if we hadn't got into that god damn argument you wouldn't be here and-" A choked off cry escaped his lips. "-you wouldn't have lost the baby."  
  
Guilt and sorrow rose within him, almost choking him.  
  
Two weeks ago Lacy had told him she was pregnant, thankfully she had clarified right away that it wasn't his so his mini heart attack only lasted seconds. Some guy from the neighboring high school was the father, the same guy she had been with quite frequently since Alyssa had moved into the shed.  
  
It was their chance to end their barely there relationship, but they never spoke of it again.  
  
Until there argument where he yelled at her about how she couldn't be jealous when pregnant with another guys baby, and now this.  
  
Tyler shot up from the chair and without a word to her shocked doctor right outside, ran.  
  


* * *

  
  
Alyssa jumped when the door to the shed burst open. It was only six in the morning on a Saturday and the Torres' had only just left and from Clarissa's loud shouts she heard, to their Grandpa's who had come back from a long vacation.  
  
She stared in shock at Tyler who looked like a sleep deprived mess. "Tyler wha-"  
  
"Lacy is in the hospital." His voice was worn and hoarse.  
  
"What?" Alyssa gaped at him.  
  
Tyler shuffled in and dropped onto the bed next to her, making it bounce a little as he did. "We uh got into an argument yesterday..and apparently when she stormed off..got hit by a car-"  
  
"Tyler.."  
  
"She's alive but..Alyssa, she was pregnant.."  
  
She froze. "Was it-"  
  
"No..no it wasn't mine." She watched not knowing what to do as his eyes watered. "But her baby is _dead_ Alyssa..and if we hadn't-"  
  
"No. No." Alyssa shifted closer, grabbing his hand in hers. "You can't seriously blame yourself for this! Whoever was driving that car is the one at fault. Not you for arguing with her, not Lacy for crossing the road, but _them_."  
  
"You were right you know." Tyler mumbled, ignoring what she said.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"That I'm a shitty person."  
  
Alyssa shook her head, swallowing down her own emotions rising in her throat as she stared at a Tyler she had never thought she'd ever see. A sad almost broken one. "Tyler..I said that a year ago when we still hated each other-"  
  
"Hate." He interrupted with a wet humorless chuckle. "You know..we said we hated each other before she stormed off and I-..FUCK!" He shouted, yanking his hand from hers to furiously rub his hands down his face.  
  
"You know..I've heard you say some pretty shitty things about Lacy since our weird friendship started, a lot of which I agreed with." Alyssa said softly. "I didn't understand why you were with her if you couldn't stand her anymore..but it was all just an act, wasn't it?"  
  
"No it's- it's not-"  
  
"Tyler." He looked at her with teary eyes. "When you say you hate her..you really mean you love her. She was your first everything, literally. It's okay to still feel that way even if you don't wanna be with her anymore. There's only so much hate you can hide behind."  
  
Alyssa waited for him to say something, but he never did.  
  
Instead it seemed the night had caught up with him, and as his eyes started drooping he soon fell asleep. Alyssa sighed, grabbing the blanket folded in the corner of the bed and placing it over him. She laid down beside him and opened her book back up. 

* * *

  
  
_Walking under the bleachers, Alyssa stopped short when she heard the sounds of sniffling along with low talking. Curious, she quietly walked closer and peeked through. A little ways ahead of her on the bleachers sat Tyler and Lacy._  
  
_Her nose wrinkled in disgust at the couple, his arms wrapped around her. _  
  
_That disgust didn't last long when she realized Lacy was crying, full on sobs and Tyler was running his hands comfortingly along her back._  
  
_Alyssa may have hated the two, especially him, but she wasn't completely heartless honestly. _  
  
_"I don't get it!" Lacy sobbed out. "I do everything she asks but she still hates me!"_  
  
_Tyler made a 'shh' noise as he gently kissed her head. Alyssa stared in shock. She had never seen him be so gentle with someone, she had seen him fight and argue plenty, even witnessed his anger up close and personal but never this. _  
  
_When did Tyler Torres grow a heart? Or has she just had him figured out wrong this whole time?_  
  
_Alyssa quietly snuck away with a weird feeling forming in her chest._  
  
_It was a small moment, but the start._  
  


* * *

  
  
It was probably a stupid idea, but she wanted to let Tyler know she was here for him during this.  
  
Which is why with her heart racing she walked towards where his family was sitting in the hospital, there to support Tyler as he was with Lacy.  
  
It would be her first time meeting them except for his sister.  
  
She wondered how she'd be introducing herself to people who had no idea who she was, but Clarissa solved it for her.  
  
"Alyssa!" She shouted upon seeing her. Her whole little face lit up as she ran towards her, hugging her legs.  
  
Alyssa laughed, hugging her the best she could without bending over. "Nice to see you too little Torres."  
  
"Honey, who's this?" Ellie asked, her and Nick standing now as they moved closer.  
  
"This is Alyssa! Our names are almost the same!" Clarissa said with a large toothy grin. "She's friends with Ty!"  
  
"Really?" Nick asked, eyebrow raised. Alyssa shifted a little on her feet, trying not to look at Tyler's dad with an odd expression because _holy shit_ did Tyler and he look even more alike up close. He got some features from his mom but- Alyssa blinked.  
  
"Wait- I've heard him mention an Alyssa in passing before." Ellie said before Alyssa could say anything.  
  
Her face flushed. "Uh probably me..we uh- kind of had I guess you could call it a rivalry before this year."  
  
Nick snickered making Ellie elbow him.  
  
"Well it's nice to meet another friend of Tyler's." Ellie smiled, looking as if she was seconds from hugging her which made Alyssa tense up a little but she still gave a friendly smile back.  
  
"You can go see him if you want." Nick said. "But he hasn't been a fan of anyone sitting in there with him."  
  
"That's okay." Alyssa nodded. "I'll leave if he wants me to."  
  
She said a soft thanks as she walked by them, giving a wave to Gabe and Cam who smiled at her but were focused on some game on the iPad they were sharing.  
  
Her heart raced when she stepped into the room. Tyler looked up, a shocked look on his face. "Alyssa?"  
  
"Figured you could use the support from someone who isn't family." She told him with a shrug._ I wanted to be here for you _was left unsaid.  
  
Tyler smiled a little at her. She stepped beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as she rested on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. Neither of them said a word when Tyler leaned against her.  
  
"Wait a second..doesn't this mean you-"  
  
"Met your parents?..Yeah, you owe me."  
  
Tyler chuckled. "You did it all on your own, I don't owe you shit."  
  
"Dick." She mumbled, pinching the skin on his shoulder hard making him wince.  
  
He still laughed softly and Alyssa finally looked at Lacy. Her heart clenched.  
  
She may not like the girl, but it felt.._wrong_ seeing annoyingly peppy Lacy like this.  
  


* * *

  
  
A few days later Lacy had a setback. An infection they hadn't noticed had begun to spread.  
  
Tyler wasn't allowed to see her as they tried to fight the infection, and all the hope he had built up of her being okay began to crumble.  
  
That Tuesday afternoon he practically dragged himself into the house, his last period was a free period and he had escaped from school in no time. All anyone could talk about was Lacy, and giving him their sympathies. He hated it all.  
  
"Sweetie?" Ellie asked from the couch where she and Nick sat. They had a rare day off and decided to just watch movies and relax, something they didn't get to do much. "What're you doing home?"  
  
"Free period." Tyler mumbled, dropping his school bag by the stairs as he moved to the living room. "I had to get out of there."  
  
Ellie and Nick exchanged a sad look.  
  
"Do you need us to talk to the principal or-"  
  
"No!" Tyler quickly said. "It's fine dad, I just-" His voice broke, his eyes watering unexpectedly. "This- why does it hurt?"  
  
"Oh sweetie.." Ellie said softly.  
  
A sob broke free, and Tyler found himself between his parents on the couch. Their arms wrapped around him as he finally cried.  
  
Ellie's own eyes watered as a few tears escaped, feeling and seeing her son in pain. Nick held onto his oldest tightly, both of them trying not to think about their own pain and losses from years ago.  
  
Tyler continued to cry, all the suppressed emotions emptying all at once as he clung to his parents and their comfort.

* * *

  
  
A month later Tyler stood next to a car and felt a bunch of emotions swirling around inside him. He honestly didn't know what to feel.  
  
Lacy stood in front of him, looking much healthier but not quite there.  
  
"So I guess this is it." She whispered, looking up at him.  
  
Tyler swallowed. "Are you sure about this?"  
  
Lacy smiled weakly and nodded. "It's what's best for me I..need time away from everything here. Besides, with me gone you can finally make a move on Alyssa." She teased a little.  
  
"Lacy-" Tyler sighed.  
  
"Don't do that." Lacy shook her head. "We both have to move on at some point Ty, that includes you and this guilt you have. Don't use that as an excuse not to try with her, I may have been a bitch about her but..things change."  
  
He nodded with a sigh. "It's gonna be weird without you around you know."  
  
Lacy smiled. "I'm only a call or text away, and you know where my aunt lives if you ever wanna visit."  
  
"I may take you up on that." He smiled back, he grabbed her hands curling his fingers around hers lightly. "It's not the best circumstances but..it's uh nice seeing a lot of the old Lacy again."  
  
"Yeah." She whispered softly. "I know what you mean..I think It's time I start over, as myself again you know?"  
  
Tyler nodded. "I get it."  
  
He didn't blame her one bit for escaping. From the memories, to the people at school who had found out about the baby, but most of all from the girl she had become. Losing her unborn baby had changed her, and living here was suffocating for her now.  
  
"Since we're being honest.." Lacy bit her lip as she looked at him. "I'm really gonna miss you Ty."  
  
He sighed, using their connected fingers to pull her close much like before their first kiss two years ago. "I'm gonna miss you too."  
  
Lacy looked up at him with a soft smile, and standing on her toes she leaned in and kissed him softly. Tyler unconnected their hands, one hand coming up to cup her cheek while his arm wrapped around her waist. Lacy tangled her fingers in his shirt, the kiss grew deeper as they realized.. _this_ was the end of their story together.  
  
When they both pulled away, breathing heavily as their foreheads pressed together, Tyler's arm around her tightened and Lacy sniffled.  
  
"I hate you, you know." Tyler whispered.  
  
Lacy let out a small wet laugh. "I hate you too."  
  
Slowly they pulled away and Lacy got in the car. Tyler stood there until her car was out of right.  
  
_I love you, you know._  
  
_I love you too._

* * *

  
  
Tyler walked into the shed. Alyssa looked up from her spot on the couch and gave him a comforting smile.  
  
He sat beside her, chuckling as she wordlessly slided the tub of ice cream on the small coffee table towards him.  
  
"You gonna be okay?" She asked, shifting so her legs were curled under her as she turned to face him.  
  
Tyler looked at her, sitting on the couch in his shed comfortably like she belonged there, and he smiled.  
  
"Yeah..I'll be more than okay."  
  
She looked at him oddly but nodded.  
  
They sat on the couch watching lame TV, her body soon pressed against his side. He glanced over at her to see her completely into the show and grinned when her expressions showed just how she felt about it.  
  
Alyssa was beautiful.  
  
One day..one day, she'd be his. Everything and everyone else be damned, he was now a free man.  
  
And what he wanted was Alyssa Reagan. He had for a while now.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it weird that I'll miss Lacy? probably. oh well.


End file.
